Friday, April 1, 2011

The blue ones taste like toothpaste and Lysol.

While driving to a college tour with my dad today i drove through a school zone..  I wasn't familiar with the area, so i didn't see any of the OMG SCHOOL ZONE signs, or the speed limit sign (plus we were lost, seeing as my ace navigator was on the phone, and we missed a turn.)  I was just kinda going with the flow.  Apparently the flow was far too fast, because as i passed a pickup at a mind blowing, neck breaking, dick blistering 32 MILES AN HOUR a cop flashed his little lights on his motorcycle and very politely took 250 dollars out of my money-that-i-don't-have fund.  I'm very upset by this (hence blog rant).  Just think of all the things I could have bought with 250 dollars.

  • 250 tacos
  • 1000 quarters
  • A new ipod (my 80 gb video is almost full, and it's battery life isn't what it used to be)
  • Roughly 280 bags of Gourmet House Long Grain White Rice (14 oz bag) off amazon (not including shipping)
  • 3571 feet of 3/8ths foam backer rod (used mostly for sealing gaps between a window and the wall)
  • 84.63 lbs of Haribo "techno" gummy bears (highly recommended this one, the blue ones taste like toothpaste and Lysol.)
  • 855 Oz of Nesquick chocolate milk powder
  • 25000 sheets of HP Color Inkjet Paper
  • 25 zip zap performance driving kits (i could have 250 glow in the dark mini traffic cones, and 250 orange mini traffic cones.)
  • 17 "constructible drinking straw" kits (i could have the coolest drinking straw ever.  My drink wouldn't even have to be in the same ROOM as me.)
  • 14705 8 oz Styrofoam cups
But no.  I have to send it to the state because these damn high schoolers don't know how to properly play frogger.  :<
(oh, and the tour sucked.  The guide didn't know anything about...anything relevant to the tour, and filled 2 and a half hours with "you had to be there" stories. She was real nice though.  The kind of person you'd want to be stuck in an elevator with.)
/rant.              //Next time i'll post about something that isn't me complaining about all of the things.


  1. yea man, those school zone fines are rough. Double fines usually, and occasionally they'll throw points on your license too. not fun.

  2. 32 miles an hour! you should go to jail!! ive been through the same thing plenty of times, los angeles cops are the worse.

  3. I always go through things i could have bought with money i've lost, sucks bra

  4. Hahah great ideas there. That sucks ;/

  5. That's shitty. Wouldn't have been as bad if fines weren't doubled in school zoned. Insurance is gonna kill you though.

  6. it's not like you were blowing through at a dick whistling 34 mph. $250?? Seriously fuck that guy. Made me smile though.

  7. man if this isnt an april fools joke by the cop, then thats actually sucks

  8. "17 "constructible drinking straw" kits (i could have the coolest drinking straw ever. My drink wouldn't even have to be in the same ROOM as me.)"

    But you'd have to suck harder than Michael Jackson in a suntan-contest on a nudist-beach for kids.

    Just sayin'.